Greetings:  

 

Have you ever been dropped by someone you were counting on because there were different or conflicting expectations? (You know that you have!) 

 

This month’s edition of your e-WOW! Newsletter offers several strategies for assuring everyone is on the same page from day one. The benefit to you: Fewer opportunities to go SPLAT! Clear Expectations are the answer.  

 

Speaking of SPLAT!, our new book by the same catchy title is in the works. It contains strategies and true-to-life adventure stories on how to be caught more and dropped less by the people you count on most! 

 

Business Note: we’re booking Fall and Winter speaking and training sessions now. I know the Trapeze Buddy concept is perfect for every organization in which people count on others to complete a task, function or provide information so they can get their job done. (That covers about every business in the Universe.) 

 

Why not book a session for your team today! 

 

In closing: We’re on the home stretch of summer! Have an awesome August and keep making a difference! 

 

To your continued success, 

Mark Rosenberger & the WOW! Team

Featured Article

"Get Clear on Expectations!"

by Mark Rosenberger, CSP

Splat!  

 

We’ve all been there …you get dropped by someone you were counting on. And in your business there is no safety net. In fact, there are usually spikes sticking up from the ground and you’re heading face first for the skewers.  

 

An effective Trapeze Buddy is always looking for ways to Anti-Splat! his or her business and personal life. One critical component to the Anti-Splat! campaign is establishing clear expectations.

 

I’m willing to bet everyone reading this article has been on the painful end of a situation involving unclear, unrealistic or just plain wrong expectations of a person or situation.

 

 At the heart of frustration is when reality conflicts with your picture of how things should be. You have a different set of expectations than your current experience is giving you. We call this “frustration.”  

 

I know I’m bit by this “wrong expectations” bug on a consistent basis. A memorable “unrealistic expectations” event occurred when my wife and I were first married involving the Thanksgiving and Christmas Holidays. It seemed I had one set of expectations about what made for the perfect holiday season and my young bride had a different set of expectations. Based on our upbringing and previous life experiences we had both created our expectations of how things should go. Neither was right or wrong, they were just different.  

 

The problem occurred when we did not have the foresight to sit down and discuss what a perfect holiday season would look like for us, the new couple. Instead, we each went about our business creating our own ideal holiday. In the end it was one of the most frustrating, counter productive, aggravating holiday experiences on record. Why? Because we failed to get clear on expectations for the event. 

 

Here are two important life questions: Should we eat Thanksgiving Dinner at 1pm or 4pm? Should the toilet paper roll have the paper coming off the top or down the back? These were important “expectation” questions in our home. (I welcome your input!) 

 

We’ve since learned to ask a powerful, expectations clearing question: “What are your expectations for: [Fill in the blank]?” 

 

It’s the perfect question to ask before or during a business project, going to a party, spending time during summer vacation or planning for the Holidays. It’s a great question to use with family members, co-workers, vendors, friends.  

 

This question works because it causes folks to focus on the desired outcome rather than being sucked along by the course of events. It forces people to examine their role in the process and clarifies each person’s position on a topic. It will also reveal “gaps” between your expectations and their expectations.  

 

Application Example: Before the start of summer vacation, I asked our teenage son this question, “What are your expectations for an awesome summer?” His thoughtful answer gave me a picture of what was important to him. I can better support him when I know what he wants. It also revealed a “gap” between his picture of the perfect summer and his dad’s picture of a perfect summer. It was an opportunity to discuss and create a win-win scenario based on our two sets of expectations.  

 

More clarity on expectations:  

 

Ever been bit by unclear expectations when you’re crystal clear on your expectations and desired outcome but your clarity failed to be communicated to others? (I guess I’m the only person this has happened to?).  

 

The perfect question to ask yourself is: “How many of my expectations have been clearly communicated to those involved in the process or who could affect the outcome?” 

 

You might have a perfect mental picture but if others don’t share the same image, you’re setting yourself up for a SPLAT! 

 

Application Example: We’re moving to a new home. Pretty exciting but also a ton of work. I asked my son to take a couple of boxes and pack up his room. He did exactly as directed…He took two boxes and crammed everything he owned into the boxes. The problem: the boxes weighed 4,328 pounds each. Fragile items were mixed in the heap; there was no rhyme or reason to his method. He put everything he owned in the “couple of boxes” as directed by me.  

 

My bad.  

 

I had failed to communicate my expectations clearly. A couple boxes to me meant 4 to 6 or whatever it took and to pack them in some logical order. He failed to receive my telepathic communication.  

 

This event brought up another excellent “expectation clarifying” question:

“Do I have expectations of things, I or others, know nothing about?” 

 

This is a great question to ask before the event. I realized my son had never packed his room to move. We have lived in this home his entire life and although it was a life experience I am comfortable with, I assumed he had the know-how and expertise. 

 

This is also an excellent question to ask before “the Weekend Project.” Boy, have more than one of those weekend projects turned into a mega-month ordeal all because I had expectations I knew little or nothing about! 

 

During a discussion of “expectation clarifying” questions, we cannot leave without asking: “How many of my expectations have to do with changing someone else’s habits, patterns, behavior, actions, personality?” 

 

If you find a lot of your expectations involve changing others, here’s my coaching: Forget it! Bag it! Drop it! Punt! 

 

It’s hard enough to change myself, let alone change someone else.  

 

Conclusion: when it comes to Anti-Splat!-ing your life, get clear on expectations and you’ll be caught more and dropped less by the people you count on most!